What?s Your Communication Style?
Your communication style is unique to you, but because you?ve lived with it all your life, you?re often not aware that you even have one! That is, until you meet someone who is totally opposite to you?
And that?s where the fun begins!
You see, there are four basic styles of communication:
- The Player
- The Carer
- The Analyser
- The Safekeeper
Although we are all a blend of all four, we have one (or two) distinct preferences for a particular style. And when we meet people who really click with, they often favour the same style of communication. However, when we meet people who we clash with, they?re often our opposites!
Let?s Take a Closer Look
I?ve studied a range of models for personality and communication over the years, but my favourite is Click Colours?. Why? Because it?s a simple, easy to understand system that is fluid and intuitive. There?s no testing, scoring or analysis required, which means it can be applied in a range of scenarios to add value and understanding.
Click Colours? works using 4 basic profiles (identified by different colours) to determine the communication style that most resonates with you.
Here?s an overview of the 4 styles, read them all and decide which is most like you?
The Player ? Yellow
Yellows are gregarious, expansive and love to take a big picture view. They?re natural adventurers and love to lead an expedition, whether that?s to the North Pole or an exploration into your business! Yellows love change, variety and get bored easily (which is why they hate routine).
Their communication style is fluid, spontaneous and full of optimism, but it will often lack substantial detail, planning or quantifiable data. They?re often the life and soul of a gathering, enjoy telling funny stories and clowning around.
The Carer ? Red
Reds are driven by their need to connect, form relationships and foster a sense of belonging. They?re natural listeners, have oodles of empathy and will enjoy exploring emotions and matters of the heart. They enjoy in-depth one to one conversation in a quiet environment where they can really dig-in to the emotions.
Because their communication style is motivated by the needs of others, in large gatherings they are the conversational connectors; introducing people, finding common ground between them and making sure everyone feels included. They may seem like social butterflies, flitting between groups, but you?ll notice they rarely become the centre of attention for long as they?re too busy looking after everyone else!
The Analyser ? Blue
Blues are logical, methodical and curious. They can often be caught up in their own internal world, thinking things through and making logical deductions. They are driven by their need to know why, and feel comfortable with planning, research and data.
Blues are not afraid to challenge the status quo, they are often to the point in their speech and find small talk utterly boring. In fact, Blues will often take their time to form a considered opinion, (which makes them appear quiet and shy), but can drop a truth-bomb on a conversation without warning! And believe me when I say they don?t sugar-coat things! They are direct, authoritative and results driven, hence they get to the point without worrying about incidental things like feelings! (I know this style very well – I?m married to a Blue!).
The Safekeeper ? Green
Greens are organised, thorough and love to-do lists! They enjoy planning ahead, feeling in control and are not big fans of change (especially if there?s no ?good? reason for it!). They like to have order in their lives, enjoy rolling their sleeves up and ?getting stuck in? to practical jobs.
When it comes to communication Greens are no-nonsense, they like to socialise with their existing group and are less likely to enjoy taking social risks. They like what they know and know what they like. They enjoy making plans, arranging things and getting sh*t done! They are way less comfortable talking about airy-fairy topics that don?t have a real tangible or practical outcome.
So?
- What is your preferred communication style?
- Can you see where clashes might occur?
- Have you picked your partners style?
As a Red who is married to a Blue, I can tell you we hit some communication road-blocks at times! But we find our common ground in Yellow, which is where our love of adventure, change and challenge comes into its own!
Click Colours? is a great framework for finding harmony and connection through understanding, after all?